


Lip Gloss

by hernamewasalice



Series: Fluff + Angst [8]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Adopted Children, Adoption, Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childhood Trauma, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Older Man/Younger Woman, Past Child Abuse, Rey is 16/17, Sexual Tension, Slice of Life, kylo is 35
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:00:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24892777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hernamewasalice/pseuds/hernamewasalice
Summary: Actor Kylo Ren decides to adopt a teenager named Rey.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Fluff + Angst [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1622881
Comments: 85
Kudos: 146





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Precocious Rey is my fav depiction to write.  
> Brooding Stoic Kylo Ren is my fav depiction to write.

"Don't forget to give Daddy what he wants."

Rey's eyebrows furrowed at Jack's words. He's taunting her, like all the other kids do. She gave him the finger and proceeded to pack her things. Kylo wasn't some pedophile, he was going to be her dad. It's finally finalized after nearly two years. Rey never thought she would ever be adopted, especially at her age. Older kids have the lowest likelihood of being adopted and statistically they outgrow the system. She's going to be seventeen soon and she was grateful.

Most adults don't want to take in an older child. They don't get to raise an older child as much compared to a baby. Rey doesn't blame the adults but older children deserve a home and a family too. Instead teenagers are often seen as financial burdens to adults with college being around the corner. It's more than that, Rey knew. It's mainly the fear of intense behavioral issues from older foster children.

She's more than thankful. "Shut the fuck up," Rey snapped at him. "He's not like that." All the kids know the adoption process and how intense and long it is with background checks and supervised visits. Kylo seems fine to her and he's okay with paying for her school.

Jack frowned. "It's still fucking weird," he mumbled. "I'm happy for you but something about it gives me bad vibes. He's a single young guy and he wants a teenager. I'm surprised they let him adopt you given how they are." It wasn't a secret that it was much more difficult for a single parent to adopt and it wasn't a secret either that it was a million times harder to adopt as a single man. Yeah it's sexist and unfair but that's how it is.

"Okay the system is flawed and shit but he has to be a saint to be approved as a single man.

He shrugged absentmindedly. "I call it as I see it. If he touches you, don't be afraid to report his ass, okay?"

Rey stopped packing to look at him. She bit her lip and exhaled. As much as she hated Jack she's going to miss him. He's the closest person she had left while all the other kids got a family. She always thought he would get adopted first before her. She couldn't help but to be sad and guilty. She hopes Jack gets a home . "Thanks for looking out for me."

* * *

If Rey was honest with herself, she did find it kinda weird that she was an option for Kylo. At first she thought it was a mistake given the fact of her age. She was way passed the desired age and she had a somewhat complicated past. But she had to reassure herself that it was going to be okay. She couldn't be picky and she knows that most people who are able to adopt, typically had money. She wanted so much more than being passed around from foster home to foster home.

She's smart and she knows to be on her best behavior with him. She wants to be wanted. It wasn't the first time that an adult was interested in her but she always does something to mess up her chance. Rey knows better after years of making mistakes of being too talkative or opinionated. Each supervised visit, she purposely tries to make herself look young. (Not some kinky ass shit or anything). She makes sure not to wear makeup or anything that wasn't age appropriate. She dresses her age and has her hair up to look more youthful. Sometimes, adults become disinterested if a teen looks too grown. Boys know to shave their face for that reason too.

If she could be honest with herself, it's not easy talking to Kylo. He's not exactly easy to talk to. He's not mean - he just looks intimidating - like ninety nine percent of the time. He has a scowling resting face and he's fucking tall and jacked. He's pretty handsome if she could admit that herself and it makes it more uncomfortable talking to him. Rey always feels nervous around attractive men - it's not like she's been touched by men it's just she's never been around a good looking man before. Like...how are you supposed to talk to them? Attractive men are an entirely different species than regular men. It doesn't help that he has facial hair too since she's nervous around men with it. They look so serious to her. It doesn't really help that Kylo doesn't talk much either. It's just how he is. At first she thought he was some creepy man but as she's gotten to know him, he's just awkward and shy.

He's lonely and he's a very relaxed person (even though he doesn't smile) and it makes sense that he wants a low maintenance child. Rey's certain he doesn't have the patience for an energetic child. Rey's pretty low maintenance now than when she was younger.

She can't be picky and so she takes what she can. He's pretty cool, doesn't mind about paying for her college and says he'll support whatever her passions are. All the social workers are so stupid around him, secretly fawning over his dark eyes and dark wavy hair and mouth.

Apparently Kylo's a big deal or something. Yeah he's an actor but he's no academy award winning actor or anything. (To give him credit, he is an upcoming actor according to him). She's never seen a film of his. She's thought about it but its feels like an invasion of privacy to her. There's no doubt in her mind that he's probably using her for publicity to show how saintly he can be. Rey couldn't care less anyways. It's not exactly the best match but she needs this and there's finally someone that wants her. She's always been an attentive child and she knows that even the social workers aren't as protective or diligent since they really want Rey to have a home.

She needs it. She needs a home. Some stability.

* * *

Kylo's home isn't some mansion. He lives in a studio apartment. It was practical since it's just him (well now she officially lives here too). It's a nice apartment in the city, not at all small and with a great view. He has a Saint Bernard too named Prince. He's an old dog with his tongue hanging out twenty four seven. Rey loves Prince because he's super friendly and gives the best of kisses. That's one thing she's sad about. She's too old to receive and give affection. It wasn't appropriate for her to be hugged and kissed and share a bed when she had a nightmare. It's not like she needs it now, but she needed it when she was younger. She used to wish every single day to get adopted by loving people who would adore her and do her hair and hold her hand when she's scared.

It breaks her heart to know she missed out on that - that she will never have that.

But she can give as much love to Prince. Prince loves to be hugged and played with. She's on the floor with Prince, giggling as the giant dog snuggled close to her. Kylo walks to them, with that resting expression of his. He's smiled about a handful of times that she's known him But he cares though. The apartment is all decorated to celebrate the finalization. There's balloons and flowers everywhere. Even in her room. "I ordered your favorite food," he tells her. "It'll come in half an hour."

She beamed. Chinese food. When her parents were around, they used to sit around the TV to their favorite show and ate Chinese takeout. It always reminds her of those simple times. "Eggrolls too?"

"Yes," the man chuckled slightly. "Eggrolls too."

It's still an adjustment getting used to living here. (She's been here before, but it's different knowing that this was permanent. Entirely different.) It's like she's looking at the place with entirely new lenses. This wasn't a trial area anymore. This was hers. Kylo puts on a show that she likes and they ate on the couch. He's usually meticulous with things but he's letting it slide for tonight.

"Is everything good?" he asked. He puts some shrimp fried rice into his mouth.

Rey tries not to inhale her food. It's a bad habit she developed but she's gotten better. She had always struggled with getting enough to eat, even when her parents were around. She just burns everything, she can't seem to gain weight. Kylo knows this, knows about her health issues (well duh, he has to) but he still wants her. And tonight it makes her at ease.

He drinks some wine while she had grape soda. He doesn't judge that she eats more than him but she figures he has to watch his weight given his work. He has a film coming up and he has to be at a certain weight. They watch and ate in silence with Prince begging for scraps. It's not the relationship she wants with her new parent. It's more of a friend or a roommate - but it's still something. They were both lonely and needed someone. It's not the dynamic she's dreamed about as a kid but it's still something.

They watch TV until her eyes hurt. It's one in the morning when she decides to turn off the TV and go to bed. Kylo's fast asleep on the couch with Prince. An idea occurs to her that she could sleep on the couch too but it doesn't seem appropriate. She's not six. She can't curl on the couch with her parent. Rey shakes those thoughts away and heads to her room.

She pulls the sheets over her body and quietly cries herself to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Kylo liked his privacy. He liked his privacy than most people in his work. He keeps the adoption a secret from the press so his child can have a normal life. Kylo doesn't have social media and whenever it wasn't a public event, he liked keeping his face covered sunglasses always wore a hoodie or a hat. The tabloids still manage to find him once in a while but that's how it was.

He's certain Rey thinks he's weird that he won't let her have any social media accounts like Instagram and Snapchat. He doesn't care though, he just wants her to have safety. She's a pretty girl to a point his agent keeps insisting in letting her be a model.

"Absolutely not, Phas," he said.

"Why not?"

"She's never had a chance to have a normal childhood. I want to give her that."

Phas rolled her eyes. "What's so great about being average?"

"You know how damaging it can be for child actors and models." Kylo didn't pursue acting until he was in his twenties and he's grateful for his parents for not allowing him to pursue acting until he was of age. He's known so many colleagues who were molested as a child.

"It's not as bad anymore. There are better protection laws."

He frowned. "But you know things still happen. If she wants to go into it, she can wait until she's eighteen. Which won't be long. I don't want to be the parent that exploits their children for money or publicity." Rey was a smart girl but she was still a child. She wasn't fully developed mentally or emotionally.

* * *

He gives Rey an allowance. He gives her twenty dollars a week and she can do whatever she wants with her money. He set up a bank account for her. He has more money but any amount over that was ridiculous to him to give to a child. If she needs something that was important like school, he's happy to pay.

There are rules in their home. They do chores together and take turns on taking care of Prince with feeding and walking and bathing. They have a system, a fair system. Whenever Kylo has to be away for filming, she's has to call him at least once a day and respond to all his calls and texts. She's not allowed to answer the door to strangers and she has to make sure everything is locked at night and when she leaves for school. Sometimes he has to be away for weeks at a time for filming and it makes him nervous leaving her alone.

She's has a history of separation anxiety. It's not severe as it once was when she was young but he's still careful. He knows things will be fine. She has Prince to keep her company and his agent will check up on her from time to time.

Kylo's packing his things while Rey is playing with Prince. "Remember, if you need anything don't be afraid to call me," he reminds her. Rey nodded. She's hugging Prince. The dog is massive and Rey looks so much of a doll to Kylo. "Also don't be afraid about using the card to buy things."

"I'll be fine," she tells him earnestly. "I know how to take care of myself."

Kylo exhaled and wondered how many times she was neglected.

* * *

The thing that bothers Rey is how much Kylo knows about her. He has to though but she wished it was in an organic way. He knows the most intimate things about her but not the little ones. He doesn't know how much she wants to be held by him or kissed. She's not sure if it's in a platonic parent and child way or something else. She craved affection for as long as she could remember because she never gotten it. Her whole life she's been taught to be reserved and guarded of herself. And she is. She knows that there are bad people in the world and has been educated about it since she was young.

She's thankful for having Prince and being able to have a loyal companion.

The first week by herself is fine. She's starting to talk more to the kids at her new school and she still has a chauffer to take her places. She begins to understand why he wanted an older child. He's single and most of his family had passed. She was old enough to be left without a sitter and able make reasonable decisions. Kylo video chats her every night before he goes to sleep. He sends her photos of his surroundings. Kylo doesn't like taking pictures of himself unless it was for work. It's baffles her how much of an introvert he was. She wonders if he's even good at acting by how much he hates to smile. His face is always in a resting serious face. He doesn't even take decent pictures either. All the photos are blurry or cropped.

 _You take pictures like an old man lol_ , she feels comfortable to text him that. She puts 'lol' at the end to let him know she means it in the best possible way.

 _My fingers are too big,_ he responds.

_Not a real excuse._

_Hm._

Rey made a face at the one word response. She hates when people do that. Like how is she suppose to answer that?

_I'll talk to you soon. Have to head out._

Rey responds back with, _Okay._

She's been left alone in a house before but this was different. She has a better living condition. She has food and things to keep her busy as well as access to a chauffer to take her anywhere. And a parent that checks up on her frequently. The first week is nice. She's able to not wear a bra at home and watch the shows and movies she wants in peace. She likes watching TV with Kylo but it always has to be a bonding moment. She couldn't recall the last time she watched something by herself without having someone analyze it like crazy. She mainly cooks for herself. He's left her an assortment of meals he made that he froze along with a full pantry of goods and left her a card just in case she wanted to treat herself.

The second week by herself makes her feel a little down. It's particularly because she's adjusting to a new school - a rich school to be exact. It overwhelms her how they know so much about her without speaking to her. Some try to get close to her to get to Kylo but she was smart. She keeps to herself because she doesn't want to be used. She doesn't even like the special treatment she's receiving either. It's all new, being noticed.

She's so used to being invisible.

Rey's been having trouble sleeping. She stays up mostly watching Youtube and whenever she does sleep, she wakes up from nightmares in the middle of the night. And so she's been sleeping in his bed to help cope. She knows it's odd but he wasn't here and he doesn't have to know. She knows him, he likes his privacy. He won't even let her watch his films. She plans to wash his sheets before he comes and make sure everything was in order.

She likes sleeping in his bed. It smells like him - like cologne and cigarettes. She feels safe under the covers. Prince sleeps with her too and she knows she has to vacuum the hairs to hide the evidence. Kylo doesn't like Prince on their beds. The couch was one thing but Kylo sees beds as sacred places.

Sometimes she wished she was younger so she can be held and cuddled by her parent. She's been starved from affection for years and it breaks her heart to know she's not able to have it. If she was younger it'll be okay to sleep with him in his bed and sit on his lap and kiss him.

His scent begins to fade away with a few days into the second week. She's been spending more and more time in his room than hers. Desperately she tries to cling on to it but his bed now smells like her. She goes to his closet then, her heart was beating frantically. She knows that this was wrong but she misses him. Her fingers ran across every article of clothing.

Kylo likes things in a certain way. He's meticulous. He doesn't wear much color. There was nothing but shades of black and gray. He likes leather jackets and he has several of them. She takes one - she will wash it before he comes back. She just wants to smell him. Rey puts the jacket on - the sleeves go past her hands and the entire item fits her like a dress. It doesn't feel quite the same as his sheets. The smell of leather was prominent more than anything. Rey takes it off and hangs it back. She pulls out a dress shirt of his and puts it over her clothes.

She thinks about wearing only his dress shirt but she found the idea wrong for some reason. She can't rationalize her thought process. She does things when she's lonely, things that she can't explain. She knows if he finds out about everything he won't be happy with her. He might send her back. And yet, she proceeds to go through his closet. He will punish her if he finds out - but he won't find out. She'll make sure of it. He has a lot of toys in his closet but they were all unopened and still encased in their packages. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of them. She can tell by the presentation of them that the toys were meant for a partner and not him. Rey shouldn't be surprised. He likes control and she picked up this trait about him since day one.

* * *

The day before, Rey gets rid of all the evidence she had been staying in his room. She cleans the floors and washes the sheets and shirt. She makes sure she makes his bed the way he does, hotel corners and everything. She does everything to a tea, down to the last detail.

When Kylo gets home, he senses something was off. He inspects his room but everything was just the way he left it. Something was not right. He doesn't know what though. He calls for her to come into his room. He notices how she took her time to get there. She brought Prince with her and by the fear and guilt on her face he knew she did something. "Is there anything you want to tell me?" he asked her. She tilts her chin up to look at him instead of the floor.

Rey shakes her head.

He frowned. "Don't lie to me," he said calmly.

"There's nothing -

"Rey."

She stopped breathing. He knows. She's staring at him with large frightened eyes. "I - I slept in your room," she swallowed hard. She touches Prince's head for comfort. "I'm sorry - I know I shouldn't but I got lonely."

"I see." To Rey's surprise, he touches her head like a pet. "There's nothing to be ashamed about. I wished you told me instead of hiding how you felt. I would have sent you more things and stayed on the phone longer."

"I know I shouldn't be doing those things since I'm almost seventeen -

"You're still a child and there's nothing wrong with that," he assured her. He wraps her arms around her then. She hugs him back fiercely in gratitude that he didn't get mad or try to hit her. "Come on, I'll make us some lunch. Why don't you take Prince out for a walk until it's ready?"

She nodded with a bright smile on her face.

When Rey gets back from the walk, she finds a table set already with food on each plate. Kylo had already put food in Prince's bowl as well. She makes a beeline to the sink to wash her hands in the kitchen. She noticed something, broken glass in the sink. She couldn't help but to find it odd. She knows Kylo. He would have immediately discard it knowing how OCD he was. But Rey doesn't say anything. She just wants to have a nice day with her parent. They were going to go to the beach after lunch. She immediately wiped her hands on the kitchen towel goes to sit down in her chair.

He made spaghetti, another comfort food of hers. It was the first meal she learned to make on her own. But the pasta he made was a hundred times better than a jar of premade sauce and store bought noodles. "Thank you," she told him before digging in. The second she finished her food, she gathers her plates.

"It's okay," he tells her. "I haven't been here in weeks. Let me clean this mess up. Why don't you watch some TV? It might take a while. I need to throw away the broken glass first."

"I want to help though -

"It's perfectly alright. I want to do this."

Rey huffed but didn't say another word. He's probably in need of control after being away for so long. She goes to the couch and puts something on to keep her distracted. It's going to take a while, she knows him that well. She keeps track of time by episodes. An episode had passed and yet Kylo remained in the kitchen. She sighed. They probably won't leave the apartment until another half hour. Prince comes to her and jumps to sit beside her.

"Let me go lock up Prince," Kylo tells her.

Rey found herself yawning. "Okay." She stayed on the couch, watching the show as she waited.

Kylo takes his time to come back to her. "I'm almost done. I just need to change my clothes."

She yawned again. "Okay." She found her eyelids becoming heavy. He was taking such a long time that she was getting sleepy. "Take your time...I'll be here."

* * *

"Rey?"

His voice pulls her from sleep. She sighed as she forced herself to sit up. "Hmm?"

Kylo gives her a half smile or she thinks. She really can't tell. Her vision was blurry and she was still drowsy. "You're sleepy aren't you?"

She nodded, eyes closing in the process. "Mhmm." She lays right back on the couch all curled up.

"Let's get you in bed," he whispered. He gathers her in his arms. Her eyes open to the sudden movement. She tries to move but found her body limp.

"Where - I wanna go to the -

He hushes her. "You're too tired to go," he coaxes.

"Okay," she agreed, struggling to keep her eyes open. She's so exhausted that things aren't making sense. She's so disorientated. "Why am I - why- in your room?" she yawned again. He was placing her in his bed and tucking her in. She doesn't resist, instead she was compliant. She shuts her eyes and drifts back to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> renamed the fic "Lipgloss" because I felt the original title was too long.   
> PS Rey and Kylo both have issues lmao

_It was the first time Kylo thought a girl to be pretty. She's so small and thin all over. She's wearing a loose light blue hoodie. The fabric drapes over her and he can see her silhoutte poking through. He can see how thin her wrists her, how bony she was. Her eyes are large and wide, hazel and yet in this light they looked like liquid honey._

_She's pretty, nothing but a doll down to her long lashes and silky brown hair._

_He could overpower her, he thinks as he eyed the sharpness of her jaw. She's so slender and skinny and yet - he doesn't want her to gain some weight. He likes the way she was. Kylo wants to keep her that way._

_Rey smiles shyly at him, batting her lashes. She looks so delicate._

_He's going to keep her._

* * *

_Kylo doesn't have a family. His father died from a motorcycle accident a few years back and his mother died from a broken heart. It's just him now and it gets lonely. He has a dog to keep him company but he misses human interaction - a familial connection. He keeps the adoption a secret. The only person that knows are his agent and a few close friends._

_They thought he was crazy wanting an older child. He's not. He likes things a certain way. Older children were more manageable and they listen better. With how sporadic his work was, it only made sense. Kylo doesn't work a nine to five job, he works a couple months of the year from filming, photoshoots, and promotion. He could have had Rey earlier if the adoption agency wasn't so paranoid about him. It took him nearly three years to have her._

_So much time lost._

* * *

_He's not married._

_And he doesn't want to anytime soon. He's content with casual relationships and hookups. It's harder forming a relationship when you're a public figure now. Kylo loves his work but he doesn't like how his privacy is gone._

_Everyone knows him without really knowing who he is._

* * *

Kylo watches her drift to sleep.

He lets her sleep in his bed. He's careful leaving the room, making sure he won't wake her. Poor thing. She must have waited the whole night before for him to return. She's still a child and deserves just as much love as any another younger child. They were planning to go out but it has to be another day now.

Kylo lets Prince out to keep him company while he read.

* * *

Rey wakes up alone in bed. It's dark and her heart sinks. She slept and now the day was gone. There was nothing she could do though. There will be another day except she wanted it to be today. She stumbles out of his bed and searches for him, for her parent.

Her hair and clothes were disheveled but she doesn't care. She misses him and wanted to spend the whole day with him. The day was gone. She knows it's just a day but it more was than that. She doesn't have much time left before she's an adult and she wants to savior every moment with him.

She finds him asleep on the couch with Prince beside him. She smiled at the sight. She wants to curl beside them but she knows better. She knows she can't. Rey checks the time on the clock. It's eight. She should get them food. Rey tiptoes out of the living room and goes to her room to use her phone and order some food. She gets them pizza this time. Two medium pizzas and a box of hot wings.

Kylo wakes up to the sound of the doorbell. Prince sits up immediately, alert as ever. He pets Prince to settle down. Kylo makes his way to the door only to find Rey with food. "I ordered us some pizza," she said. She stops to blush. It's a stupid thing to say, she realizes by how obvious the boxes were.

"I could have made us a nice dinner," he said gently. He knows how to treat her, knows what tone to use to make sure she doesn't take it the wrong way.

"I know - I was going to fix us something but it's already late. It's almost nine."

He blinked. "Is it really nine?"

She nodded.

Oh. He bit his lip and sighed. The day was gone.

* * *

It's hard to sleep after dinner. Rey laid in her bed and stared at the wall. Her hands are resting on her stomach and she's left hallow. When she woke up from her nap earlier, she felt normal. She didn't feel sore or pain in any...specific areas. She doesn't smell like him either. A part of her wished there was something - a sign that he touched her where she longed for him to.

Kylo wasn't like that though.

Rey sighed as her hands slipped underneath her shirt. It's nice having a room of her own. She's never gotten to explore herself until now. She wonders as she touched her small breasts if Kylo would like them. Her fingers circle her nipples slowly as her legs shifted. Would he judge her that she gets easily excited even with touching herself? She tweaked her nipples teasingly, twisting and all as she felt herself get wet. It was comforting touching herself. Her breasts were soft and sensitive and her nipples were the color of her lips - she's sure he'll like them because he's told her he likes the shade of her lips.

She bit down her lip to stay quiet as she thought about it - about forcing her pussy to take his entire big cock. He's such a large man - she would love to straddle him and milk him. She knows he has a lot of come for he was a big man. She wants it, she wants it all.

* * *

After dinner, Kylo showers before going to bed. He loves Prince but he hates having his bed smell like a dog. It's one of his favorite things, slipping underneath the covers after a shower. He likes feeling the contrast of cool crisp sheets. Kylo paused. His comforters smell different. Like her.

He pulled up the covers to his face and inhaled the scent, trying to decipher her scent. The aroma of his cigarettes and cologne was there but it was resting in a faint background and overpowered by strawberries and something flowery.

Kylo feels something stirring within him, like an animal attracted to pheromones. He's around her but he never gets to be close to know how she smells. He knows it's dangerous for him to be close because if he does, he might do something to her. It's okay, she's not here. Rey's in her room. He sits up and takes the pillow she rested her head on to take in more of her.

* * *

He doesn't know what led to this but he's humping his pillow.

He can't seem to stop either. At the back of his mind, he's wondering about what's going on. He knows for sure he got all his urges out being away for work. He's sure of it. He fucked his female costar several times during the weeks away.

Kylo's cautious, making sure his pace wasn't too rough or quick He doesn't want to wake Rey. The last things she needs is to hear him doing things to items that smell like her. His pace is purposely slow, savoring each moment before her scent fades away. It sets his nerves on edge thinking if she was really underneath him and how he would _crush_ her with his weight. She's so thin and little, she's going to cry out in pain. He'll cover her mouth of course so the neighbors won't hear. Maybe he'll get some tears streaming down his fingers. It's an arousing thought of possibly breaking the small girl. He's certain he'll feel her ribs poking through - maybe even his cock bulging within her.

Thankfully, Rey was safe in her room and she won't be hurt. That was the last thing he wanted to do. Kylo pants into the air as he restrained his quickening thrusts. He wished it was her. Wished he was coming in her tight warm pussy. She might be young but sex was natural and pleasurable. Maybe she won't be crying, maybe she'll be moaning and panting like a bitch in heat begging to be filled. All the women he's fucked all beg that to him, he's certain Rey wouldn't be any different. He stills as he comes onto his silk pillow. He collapses on his bed and sighed. He came so much. He didn't think he had any left by how much he fucked over the weeks away. He's contemplating on buying a new pillow. He knows he should have worn a condom but he wanted his dick to be rolling in her scent.

It was all worth it.


	4. Chapter 4

They do their laundry separately.

Rey was a teenager and wanted her privacy. The idea of it embarrassed her, of her intimates being washed with Kylo's clothes and him touching them. She knows he won't do anything with her intimates but it was embarrassing nevertheless for him to sort and fold. She's tossing in her clothes in the wash, carefully going through each pocket.

He's in the room with her, getting his freshly dried clothes out of the dryer. He doesn't look at her things for he's aware of her shyness but he glances ever so often, amused by how thorough she was with digging through each pocket. Kylo couldn't help but to notice how worn some of her clothes were, especially her bras and underwear. Her bras were thin and the wires looked flimsy, close to broken and her underwear had tiny holes at the band and worn. "Do you want to go to the mall later today?" he offered. Kylo's strategic with his words, knowing how to speak to the little girl without making her nervous. "Or I can just send you more money to your card to buy clothes online."

Rey quickly tosses her intimates in the wash as if it could erase the image out of his mind. Kylo tries not to smirk. "Um, sending money is fine," Rey said slowly. She does need new bras and underwear. She meant to when they first went to the mall but she was too mortified to buy them in front of him. "I know how much you hate going to the mall."

"I do," he admits. "But I don't mind."

"No it's fine -

"Maybe we should go so you can get your breasts measured." He doesn't say another word after that for he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. It's been on his mind for a while, that the bras she wore were too big for her. He wonders if she was ever properly measured or just given random sizes. Most likely the second guess.

"I don't think my breasts have grown at all," Rey said.

He knows. "We can go get some mochi donuts afterwards," he changes the subject. "We can get every flavor you want."

She beams.

* * *

It's not as mortifying as she thought. People don't recognize Kylo when he's wearing a hoodie and a cap over. He has on his leather jacket over too, always. He blends in with the others at this fancy outdoor mall. He wears sunglasses too but only when they were outside. He's very calm and indifferent about taking her bra shopping. He's not like the other dads she's observed who stay in a corner.

Kylo was desensitized to the human body from working with beautiful actresses and models, she gathered. He's not uncomfortable like the other dads and he doesn't gawk at pictures of models in lingerie either. It feels like a parent accompanying their child to the doctor. Rey feels relaxed with him. It doesn't feel awkward at all.

He even helps her pick out some. Helps her fish out her size too.

But still, she can tell he hates shopping - well going out in general. He was very introverted, prefers being at home if he could. Kylo wasn't complaining but his body language told her otherwise.

"Do you want to stop and get a snack?" she asked. He's not walking beside her anymore but behind her. "Wait let's go to Sephora first since it's right here."

He shrugs. "Alright."

* * *

There's something fascinating to him watching her try on different shades of lipstick. Like all girls, she puts swatches on the inner part of her wrist. Five minutes in her arms are looking like paint palettes to him. It's mesmerizing. He notices that she doesn't try any of them on her lips. There's cleaning stations though with wipes but she doesn't even try any color.

"I think this shade will be nice on you," he points to it on her arm. It's a deep red shade but not too dark.

She made a face. "I don't think I look nice with lipstick."

He laughs because it's the most ridiculous thing he's ever heard. "Then why did you put like forty shades on your arms?"

Rey shrugged. "I don't know. I guess to see if it'll look nice."

"But you won't know until you put it on your lips," he reasoned. "Your skin tone on your arm is entirely different than the tone on your face."

"Nah." She goes to a station and wipes her arms clean. "I want to try on the lip glosses. I look better with those."

"Aren't they the same thing?"

The girl laughs as if he was an ignorant child. She passes by him and starts going through an assortment of clear and skin tone lip glosses. They don't look as aesthetically pleasing compared to the lipsticks. There were other options for lip glosses that were more opaque but she gravitated towards the transparent ones. She settles on one that was clear and shimmery and starts painting her lips in the mirror.

"That looks really pretty on you," he tells her without a second thought.

She lights up. "Really?"

Kylo nodded. "Yeah," he said as he cleared his throat. More than pretty. Looked like an invitation for him to kiss her. The lip gloss only enhanced the fullness of her lips and saturated the natural color of her mouth. She was such a pretty girl.

* * *

"Your Dad's hot," a girl from school says.

Rey looked up from her notebook. It was homeroom and everyone was talking. She raised her eyebrow. Dad? Oh. They must be talking about Kylo. It's weird hearing someone refer him as her dad, given she'll be eighteen in a few years. Rey doesn't even call him her dad and hearing someone else say it was weird as hell.

The other girls around her nodded and sighed in awe. "What's it's like having Kylo Ren as your daddy?'

Daddy? Rey blinked. "What?"

Another girl chimes in. "I would love for him to be my _daddy."_

Rey found her face becoming hot. Sometimes she forgets that Kylo was an actor, a famous actor for that matter. She observed them and remembered these were the same girls that have him as their lockscreen. The girls are chatting about Kylo and trying to weasel their way into meeting him in person. Rey proceeded to write in her notebook to avoid the awkward discussion.

The girl taps Rey's shoulder.

Rey looks up and finds the girl's phone in front of her. There was a video clip playing of Kylo. It's a movie clip, Rey put together quickly. She ignored it and went back to her notebook again. She knows the rules. Kylo doesn't want her at all to watch any content about him.

* * *

Sometimes, Rey gets curious about Kylo's work. It drives her crazy sometimes to know that she can access information about him at her fingertips but she's afraid to. She's afraid of getting caught. Kylo made it very clear that he didn't want her to watch any of his films or interviews or any celebrity gossip videos. He doesn't even want her to have any social media. He wants her to have a normal life, the most normal life he can give.

Rey understands where he's coming from except she's a teenager and it's weird not having social media. She's able to watch Youtube videos here and there but she's so out of the loop with things. People at school find her weird for not having a Snapchat and Instagram account.

Sometimes, she thinks he's hiding something. Maybe he does porn or something. It's a funny thought but Rey knows it's most likely he's trying to hide some insignificant drama or something.

Rey's holding her phone, contemplating about doing a little search.

It's not like he'll find out as long as she cleared her history and made sure he wasn't with her. But still, it felt like an invasion of privacy - but he does know everything about her. Kylo knows about everything's she's been through from the family that left her to all her health issues and things she goes over at therapy. It's only fair she learns something about him.

Rey looked up from her bed to make sure her door was locked. She goes on to the Youtube app and types in his name. She watches the first few videos suggested. They were all a few minute clips of him in his films. It feels weird watching him - except it's not him. He's in character. It's so weird to her. Rey's not sure if he was a good actor or not on the account that she knows him and that she's not used to seeing him elicit a wide range of emotions.

It's so weird to her. It's him, but it's not him. He's being someone else. In one clip he's a goofy character. In another he's nerdy and shy. In another he's rugged and an agent. It's all so weird to her. She couldn't help but to blush. She keeps clicking on different videos of him acting. She has to remind herself that he was Kylo. It's crazy to her how different he can look in each role despite looking the same.

Some roles he's thin, some he's bulky, and others he's muscular. Hairstyles also does wonders too.

Rey goes about twenty clips of him, the most skin he shows on screen is just his chest. Nothing too risky or anything but it was still incredibly uncomfortable for her to watch. With each film, he's required to be a certain weight and it was interesting to see the variety of his body in each one. Some shirtless scenes he's lanky and lean while others he's jacked. Rey couldn't help but wince and blush. It was like watching a car accident. She couldn't pull away even though she wanted to. She keeps clicking on videos. Somehow she's watching compilations of his funniest moments in interviews.

Rey blinked in fascination.

He's an entirely different person on screen and with cameras. He seems so much animated, adorable almost. Seeing the man in the video was a stranger to her. He wasn't the quiet and reserved man she knew.

This was such an invasion of privacy and Rey knows that - and yet she keeps clicking. There's so many fan videos of him, most of the videos are edited to zoom in and focus on certain parts of him. Somehow she's scrolling and reading the comments. There's an occasional negative comment but most were positive and...thirsty. Rey stops herself and clears her search history. The commenters were certainly graphic. She feels dirty, like she did something bad.

She lets herself breathe for a minute or two before going at another round. There was something mesmerizing about watching him in film and interviews. Youtube suggests her to watch a clip of Kylo in an intimate scene. In the clip, he's fully clothed but the woman wasn't.

"Rey."

She went pale. Before she could react, she sees the door knob turning. Shit. Shit. Shit. She locked the door but she didn't close the door all the way. He's coming in.

She immediately hides her phone underneath her pillow and pretends to be asleep on her stomach. Rey shut her eyes tight as she heard his footsteps.

"Rey?" Kylo asked in a low voice.

Rey doesn't know why her first idea was to pretend to be asleep but she goes along with it. Her heart was racing. She hopes he leaves soon so she can calm herself down after nearly having a heart attack.

Kylo doesn't. She can feel him there, lingering. She wonders if he knows that she was awake. Probably. She's not an actor like him. He can tell. But Rey's not ready to reveal herself. She keeps pretending she was asleep. She hears something. The sound of his footsteps shuffling around. Why was he still here?

She can hear him breathing. It's faint but the only sound in the room. She hears something clinking. What was that - she went still. His hand is on her hip bone. She blinked several times, clutching to her pillow as she's trying to register what was happening.

He's pulling down her pajama pants.

Along with her underwear. 

No - he's not. Why would he do that? She feels the cold air on her skin. What's going on? His hand is there, touching her in a certain spot.

It's a light touch but the lightest of touches are the ones you're supposed to be scared of.

She can hear his breathing. A deep breath of relief. She wants to say something but she's frozen in place. No. Kylo wouldn't be doing this. Her eyes widened as she felt sudden weight on the bed. Her shoulders became tense once she was released what he was doing. He's smelling her hair while he was fingering her.

Rey scrambled and sits up on her bed.

"What...are you doing?" she asked. She tries to look away but she can't. His hand was holding his...thing. His other hand was out in the air.

Kylo remained calm. He stared at her back as if nothing was wrong. "Good, you're awake," he murmured.

Before she could say anything, he presses her down on the bed.


End file.
